


The Nights In Which She Remembers

by averytinyelephant



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Childhood Memories, Gen, Post-Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Repressed Memories, but the happy ending is pretty far away, ego's A+ not-parenting, hopefully, if canon will not give an actual backstory i will do it for them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:27:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26380396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/averytinyelephant/pseuds/averytinyelephant
Summary: A series of dreams that depict Mantis’ terrible, terrible childhood.
Relationships: Ego the Living Planet & Mantis, Mantis & Guardians of the Galaxy Team
Kudos: 6





	The Nights In Which She Remembers

**Author's Note:**

> Well... This is interesting. When I started writing this, I never thought I'd actually post it. But, well, I've got nothing better to do with it, so here.
> 
> I guess I really do just look at underutilized characters and immediately make them my own.
> 
> I feel like there should be content warnings for this story even though they don't really fit into AO3's warnings, because I know these are sensitive topics. This won't change a lot for other chapters, but I'll be sure to put any additional ones there. Stay safe!  
> Content Warnings: Depiction of Mental/Emotional Abuse & Abusive Parenting, Effects of Gaslighting and Trauma, PTSD Symptoms (specifically nightmares and insomnia).

“Father?”

“Yes, Mantis? What is it?”

“Where is it that you go when you leave me alone here?”

Ego sighed at the question, his shoulders drooping as he turned away from the papers he was so engrossedly studying. “Mantis, please do not try to be difficult.”

Mantis’s huge eyes widened, her light pink, chubby hands clutching her soft light purple teddy bear a bit tighter, and her small, chubby, light pink feet shuffled a bit farther away from her father’s tall frame. She knew what happened when she was difficult: her father would get angry and have to punish her. She understood why, though, because he had taught her many times before. If he did not punish her, how would she learn? Her father wanted to teach her everything, Mantis knew that, because he loved her. But if she couldn’t learn such simple things, how could he teach her more? 

Mantis wanted desperately to know more, so she replied hastily, “I am not being difficult, Father, I promise. I am sorry, I know that you are tired from having to make a trip, but I was only curious, because I want to know as much as you do.”

Ego smiled, setting his papers down and slowly kneeling down to her level. “I know that you do, Mantis, and I love that about you. You remind me so much of myself,” he added, patting her head softly with a satisfied smile when she beamed at the praise, “so I will teach you everything when you are ready.”  
The last addition made Mantis’ shoulders droop with disappointment, and her large black eyes looked away from him and down at the floor. “Now, do not cry or complain, Mantis,” Ego spoke gently, “I like your face when it is happy. Will you do that for me if I answer your question?”

Mantis perked up, and nodded enthusiastically, her abnormally large black eyes shining at the prospect of Ego teaching her something new. Ego gave a small smile at the insectoid girl’s excitement, and stood up, instructing, “Good girl. Come with me then, and I will show you.” Mantis followed eagerly, holding the teddy tightly in one pink, chubby hand and reaching for Ego’s free hand with the other, but he unknowingly moved it out of reach, so Mantis, slightly dejected, moved it back to her teddy, not letting that take her focus off of this rare lesson. 

Ego led Mantis just to the border of the palace, sitting down and overlooking the edge out at the brilliant water pools, patting the space next to her to indicate that she should sit down there. Mantis followed the unspoken instruction and looked at him with wide eyes, eagerly awaiting his lesson. 

“This is not the only planet in the large universe, Mantis. There are many, many, many of them.” Mantis’s eyes were glimmering, and she opened her mouth to add, but Ego shushed her with his hand and continued, “But the universe beyond this planet is evil. It is just full of bad, terrible people that are just waiting to take good little girls like you away to hurt you, Mantis, to fill your head with evil and hurt you in ways that you could never even imagine. The universe out there is bad, it is very bad and evil and dangerous.” He paused, allowing this to sink in, and continued, “This planet is actually very small compared to other ones, but it is the only good one. It is very safe, because at its core, it is me, and I control all on this planet. Nothing here will ever hurt you, and all of it will keep you safe. That is why I leave you here alone, because you are not really alone when you are here. I am always with you here, and I will always keep you safe here, Mantis.” 

Mantis nodded along, trying her hardest to commit this all to memory, turning it over in her mind over and over again. “Thank you, Father. For keeping me safe here,” she added softly.

Ego turned to her and smiled, “You are welcome, Mantis. I always will protect you.”

Mantis nodded happily, imitating Ego’s smile by baring her teeth and curling up the corners of her lips. However, her attempts came out wrong and the expression seemed slightly threatening instead. Ego visibly grimaced, advising, “Perhaps you can practice that later, Mantis. Now, run along, I have much work to do,” he dismissed as he got up and started back for his desk. Mantis hid her dejection that the lesson was over so quickly in respect for her earlier agreement, and started back into the palace to turn over what her father had taught her that day. 

As she walked, the voice of her beloved father, rang clearly and loudly in her head.

“No one will ever protect you the way I will, Mantis.”

“No one will ever love you the way I do, Mantis.”

“No one, Mantis.”

“You will have no one but me.”  
“Forever.”

Mantis sat up rigidly in bed, gasping and sweating heavily. She put a hand over her chest and felt her heartbeat, breathing deeply until it calmed. She took a few sips of water from the bottle on her side table, until she remembered and scrambled to grasp her phone from the table on the other side of the room, quietly narrating all the details of the dream she could still remember into the diary she recently started keeping on it. 

Mantis doesn’t remember very much from her larva stage, or even from her pupa stage, let alone what happened before then.

In fact, most of her early life is a blur. Sometimes, when she tries her hardest to remember what happened, it feels like large parts of her life ware simply stolen from her mind. But she can never hope to get it back, because the only other person that would know is dead.

There are some pieces that stick, though. Usually tiny flashes of a distant memory that, for whatever reason, were strong enough to not to be stolen.

Mantis exhaled and shook her head, knowing that sleep would now be hard to come by. She stepped softly off of her bed and peeked outside of her door only to find that her friends were still asleep, and snuck out of her doorway, shutting the door gently behind her as to not awake anyone else. She crept slowly and silently through the ship until she reached the pit, sighing as she sat down next to the window, her phone in hand and her earbuds in her ears. She set the music to a serene and joyful tune she noticed Gamora play when she couldn’t sleep, and gazed out toward the many stars passing the ship by. Her heart rate soon calmed and her breathing stabilized as she stared out toward the stars. Mantis leaned against the window and closed her eyes again, allowing the gentle tune and the light blue hue of the outside light to calm her churning mind.

She doesn’t end up being able to go back to sleep that night.

**Author's Note:**

> I actually care about sticking to canon more than people might think, so here's where I got some of these ideas from:  
> \- Mantis' baby self and her little plushie is from a scene in GOTG Vol 2. When Ego shows the Guardians his planet for the first time, there's a scene with a two sculptures on an desert planet, one obviously Ego and the other a pink/purple child dressed in green holding a toy plush, which I interpreted to be Ego meeting Mantis for the first time.  
> \- The "lesson" Ego gives Mantis, especially about the whole planet being himself, is derived from what he told Peter Quill about the planet.  
> \- I get the idea that Mantis used to view Ego as a father because of how much Mantis appears to sympathize with him in the beginning, when she's first meeting the Guardians, even though she's canonically a terrible liar.
> 
> I don't really have a solid update schedule worked out, or really long-term plans for this story. I'll definitely be getting my girl Mantis some makeshift therapy with her friends, because she really deserves it.
> 
> [Hang out with me on Tumblr!](https://averytinyelephant.tumblr.com/)


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